The Moment I Stopped Apologizing for My Own Story
There was a time in my life when I felt the need to shrink my experiences, to make my story palatable to others. I whispered around my truth, softening the edges of trauma, glossing over the pain, and emphasizing only what seemed acceptable or inspiring. I apologized, not for what happened to me, but for how I carried it.
It wasn’t because I didn’t value my own journey. It was because I feared judgment. I worried that sharing my raw, unfiltered experiences would make others uncomfortable, or worse, make them see me as broken. For years, I navigated the world carrying an invisible disclaimer: “I’m resilient, but please forgive the messy parts.”
That all changed one morning over coffee with a group of friends, as our conversation turned to resilience, trauma, and the power of stories. When I shared a moment from my past, one I had long kept buried, I braced myself for discomfort. Instead, something unexpected happened. No one recoiled. No one judged. I saw recognition in their eyes. They nodded. They leaned in. They moved closer to the truth I had once been afraid to reveal.
And in that moment, I realized: I didn’t need to apologize for my story. My journey, every struggle, every triumph, every heartbreak, was mine to tell. The authenticity of my experience was not only valid, it was valuable.
Since that day, I’ve stopped softening my narrative for comfort or approval. I’ve stopped adding disclaimers and explanations that diminish the impact of what I’ve lived. I’ve stopped apologizing for the scars that shaped me.
Owning my story has been transformative. It has allowed me to:
Connect deeply with others – People resonate with honesty. Sharing your story invites empathy, understanding, and meaningful connection.
Reclaim power – Trauma can make us feel powerless, but telling your story on your terms restores authority over your narrative.
Find freedom – When you stop apologizing for your experiences, you make space to live fully and authentically.
Inspire courage – Showing up with your truth encourages others to face their own stories without shame.
For so long, I carried the weight of silence and self-censorship. But once I embraced the fullness of my story, I discovered a freedom I had never known. My past was never something to be ashamed of; it was a foundation; a springboard for growth, resilience, and purpose.
You don’t have to share every detail with everyone. But I encourage you to honor your story. Speak it, write it, live it unapologetically. Your experiences, every hardship, every lesson, every moment of courage, are a testament to your strength.
The moment I stopped apologizing for my story was the moment I began to rise. And every day since, I’ve been learning to stand taller, walk freer, and let my story shine as it was always meant to.
Reflective Prompt:
Take a moment today to reflect: What part of your story have you been apologizing for?
What would it feel like to own it fully, without explanation or shame?
For those who seek insight through lived experience and reflective leadership, I warmly recommend the work of Elinor Stutz, International Best-Selling Author; Ali Anani, Ph.D., Columnist & Featured Contributor at BIZCATALYST 360; and Char (Charlotte) Murphy, Esq., Visionary and Creator of Mission Hope™ and BelieveInspire™, as well as Inspirational Speaker in Organizational Leadership. You are also welcome to explore more memoir-based reflections on leadership, resilience, and growth on my LinkedIn page: www.linkedin.com/in/cynthia-goble-resilience.
